NLP MasterCLASS

meeting is being live-streamed
I got it I've got it.

So- It says we're being live-streamed,
and normally, guys, you know that when I'm

here with Crabby we have this whole thing
we go through with is it, is it, isn't it?

I have to see it to believe it.

Well, at the moment I
can't actually see it.

Well, I can see it 'cause it's
just going live on my phone.

Fabulous.

So I can see it.

Fabulous.

So- So we are live without a picture.

Yeah.

Mm.

Okay.

Well, hopefully that'll sort itself out.

So guys, I'm here today with Tanya
Bunting, who is part of our team-

It says we're being live-streamed
but normally … NLP Masterclass.

There you go.

We heard…

I could hear it.

We have now got pictures.

Um, I'm on holiday at the moment.

I'm in Scotland, and it's very beautiful.

And I thought that Steve was
gonna do today- But he's not here.

So Steve has been in London
with Paul McKenna and Alessandro

Moira, and they're doing a Change
Your Life in Seven Days seminar.

Uh, and Tania has been there doing
the Zoom side, 'cause there were

some people attending virtually.

So Tania, how are they doing?

They're doing great.

It's great to see the different dynamics
of Paul and Alessandro and Steve on stage.

The students are loving it.

The Zoom room students are
participating really well too.

Um, today's been great
fun with Alessandro.

I've actually been in and out
sporadically 'cause of other commitments.

Um, but we've had great fun,
um, working on our peachy

bottoms- … with Alessandro.

Only Alessandro.

So we've been- Only an Italian- We've
been squatting … could have these

peachy- He's looking after our glutes.

So there he is with his, with his
lovely beard and his sparkly eyes

and his big smile, saying, "Squeeze."

So we all got to have our lunch after,
and only after, two minutes of squatting.

Which was great fun.

Oh, no, that- Really good fun … that
sound, that sounds so cool.

That is really cool.

And, and 'cause I'm really interested
because sort of next April when

we do our next diploma in clinical
hypnotherapy, we're gonna have

people joining us virtually.

Yeah.

So we'll be in the, in the classroom,
and we'll have people joining

us from anywhere on the planet.

Yeah, and it's, it's
working really, really well.

So I've been able to direct questions
from the Zoom room- Wonderful … via,

um, the Mind, Body, Spirit team.

So they've been able to get Zoom room
questions to people training on the stage.

Um, so the Zoom room people
have really felt included.

It's been great.

Really good feedback from them so far.

Fabulous.

Like, and so good you're really
good at that, because I think

you might be doing that in April.

Well, it's fun, and I've managed
to keep the meeting open when

they've handed me complete control
'cause, um- Oh, then I am impressed.

Yeah … yes, it's the, the end meeting
button is very close to the- It is, yeah

… leave, leave breakout room button.

Yes, it is.

Yeah, you have to be
careful with that one.

Yeah.

So here we are doing our aha,
and I have some questions.

Let me just bring them up so I can see
them, and we'll go through the questions.

Now, I'm up in, in, in Scotland on
holiday, uh, and I've been spending time

with Elizabeth Paye Butler, uh, who is,
uh, a master trainer of NLP with DHE.

And Elizabeth is from Toronto.

So before we went…

They've all gone out to dinner.

I went out, I had my starter, and now I've
come back, and I'm gonna be with you guys.

And before we went out to dinner,
I got Elizabeth's feedback

on some of the questions.

I tried to get her to come back with
me, but she doesn't want to leave

her deep-fried Camembert right now.

I can understand that.

So I've got, I've got, I've got…

I've, I've put little notes on
here of things that she said that

I thought was, uh, was interesting.

So I'm gonna start with this question.

Is that a gin and tonic?

No, it's a tonic.

Oh, boring.

I might go for virtual gin.

Okay.

You never know, I might
get one in there later.

So first question of the evening,
um, and it says here, "As a

provisional trainer for the Society
of NLP, I am a work in progress with

marketing my first NLP practitioner.

I would love to learn how to
get people into the room."

Mm.

That's what everybody wants to know.

I remember years ago when, uh…

Before Paul McKenna Training, when it was
McKenna Breen, so this has got to be 17,

18 years ago, and there was a trainers'
training, and Michael Breen, who was one

of the co-trainers with Paul and Richard
at that time, I remember he said at the

beginning of the trainers' training, "And
for those of you that are here 'cause you

want to be an NLP trainer, good luck."

He said, "Doing the
training is the easy part."

The magic is finding people
and getting them in the room.

Um, so Elizabeth and I did
giggle when we read that.

But, uh, and it says, "I'm a work in
progress with inviting small business

owners to a series of one-hour live taster
sessions that I have yet to design."

So here's the first thought, and
this isn't one of the questions.

This is just a discussion that Eliv-
Elizabeth and I had at this point.

One hour is not long enough.

'Cause we thought about it, and we
thought, well, hang on a moment.

What are you gonna do in an hour?

'Cause you're gonna have to really
wow them to show them, uh, the

possibilities, you know, and what they
can do with this amazing technology.

Mm-hmm.

And what are you gonna do in an hour?

When you're teaching, when you're
training, time flies, doesn't it?

It does, yeah.

And I mean, an hour.

Wow, what would…

And when we…

Well, what would we do in an hour?

Mm-hmm.

Um, so our first thought is we don't think
an hour is long enough, so- Elizabeth

has done, used to do daily tasters.

So she was saying that she would do a
taster for a day, and then that gave

her plenty of time to find out what her
audience wanted and to deliver something

that was of interest to those people.

Now, I have done, um…

I've done day tasters, and I've also
done evening tasters for businesses.

So I might do two or three hours.

And when I know that it's specifically
businesspeople that my taster is aimed at,

the whole design of the presentation is
around how utilizing NLP and bringing that

into their business world and into their
life is going to improve their performance

and their ability to communicate.

And I always tell businesspeople
about, uh, conversational hypnosis.

They like- Mm.

I remember, um, a few years ago, one of
the big, uh, banks in the city contacted

me and said, "We've got this money left in
our budget for training, and, uh, we want

to deliver some training to our staff.

And we've asked them what they
want, and they've all said, 'None of

that boring stuff we usually get.'"

But they

said, "Is there a way that you can
come in and run a day's training

that incorporates hypnosis?"

And I went, "Yes, there is."

So I did a whole day's training on,
um, hypnotic language for sales.

Fantastic.

So think about who your audience is.

Who are you aiming at, and what
have you got that you can teach

them that's gonna make them really
want to come and train with you?

So then we go to the- n- I haven't
even touched the questions yet, sorry.

So then we go to the questions.

Uh, so question number one: What
experiences would you be including

to whet their appetite so they
want to attend a full practitioner?

Well, I think I've touched on that.

It depends on who they
are and what they need.

Um, so yeah.

I, I would actually ask
them at the beginning.

So those of you that have trained with
Steve and I will know that when we

train, we like to have a flip chart
at the beginning of the training,

and we, we might say, "So, so what
do you want from this training?"

And we write it on the board.

And then on the last day of the
training, we go down the flip chart.

Have we fulfilled our criteria?

So who is your audience?

So if they're business people,
what do business people want?

And rather than second-guess, ask them.

What, you know, what can I
do to help you improve your

performance, improve your business?

Just ask them the questions, and
then that'll tell you where to

start and what experiences to give
them, 'cause you're gonna wow them.

Wow.

Uh, wow.

Definitely wow.

Uh, so then I've got thinking about
room hire, how much would you charge?

Now, I would always charge something.

I remember years ago hear- hearing John
La Valle say, "Never do a free intro."

And we were up in … I was up in Leeds
doing training, an NLP training in Leeds,

and I was gonna be there, and I'm gonna
do this introduction to NLP for a day.

And we charged, I think
we charged, I don't know.

It…

This was 18, 19 years ago.

Might even have been 20 years ago.

I think we charged something like
£20 for the day or something.

I can't remember.

It wasn't a lot, but it was something.

And somebody I knew was gonna be
live on ra- BBC Radio Leeds talking

about different kinds of change work

And they said to me, "Let's give
some free tickets for our intro day."

Mm-hmm.

And I went, "Sure."

So we gave a dozen free tickets.

We had, I don't know,
80 people in the room.

That dozen people were a pain in the bum.

When they arrived, they wanted
to know where breakfast was.

They complained that we
didn't give them lunch.

I didn't tell you nothing.

I told you what.

And they all came with specific issues,
and they were expecting somebody

to cure their issue on that day or
to see them for free afterwards.

It was really, really interesting.

The whole, the whole…

And they changed the
whole feeling in the room.

Um, I vowed I would never
do freebies after that.

And John had…

He said he had, like, a similar, a
similar experience when they did free

taster days when they first started.

The people that came in for free wanted
to know, you know, where the lunch was,

where the teas and the snacks were.

So make sure you, you give
the right feel about it.

And as to sort of, like, how much
would you charge, I don't really know.

Um, what would I charge now
if I did something like this?

I guess that would depend, again,
on the audience that I'm looking at.

Because some people, especially with the
recession going on right now and, and the

way that a lot of people are thinking, not
everybody has a lot of disposable income.

So depending on the audience I was
looking for, the people I wanted to

encourage to come and see me, I might
have kind of nominal fee to start off

with, or I might decide to charge a
little bit more, and then when they

book on the practitioner, you take that
amount off the cost of the practitioner.

I might do that.

So it's what would work for your audience.

So lots of ideas there for anybody
who's setting out as an NLP trainer.

Yeah.

And, and the other one as well, I've
got here the last question: What's

the line so you don't over-deliver?

Definitely over-deliver.

There is no-

You go all out, and you just
blow their socks off, and

if that means over-delivery-

over-deliver.

Show off and show them what learning this
particular skill set, this technology,

this methodology can do for them,
how it can just change their lives.

And yeah, over-deliver.

Definitely over-deliver.

There, so really clear answer there.

Definitely.

Over-deliver.

Over-deliver, yes.

More than whet their appetite.

Yes.

There's, there's a book, there's a book.

What,

what, what is it?

Oh.

Yeah, there's a book about
delivering customer astonishment.

Ah.

And I remember, um, um, one of the
guys that was on the, the training

team a few years ago, I love this
guy, so if you're watching, hi.

You'll know who you are.

You won't need your name mentioned.

And, um, and he was fabulous
because he wasn't interested

in delivering good service.

He wanted to deliver
customer astonishment, and

I loved the whole concept.

And he would say things like,
um, "If you believe that your

performance today is like…"

He was always saying to
people, "How did you do today?"

When they were on the assisting
team, "How did you do today?

Out of 10, where would you rate
yourself on today's standard?"

And if they said, "Oh, I,
I did really well today.

I think I'm a nine," and he'd say,
"Okay, so take that nine, make it

a four, and start again tomorrow,
and build on what you've done."

And he- as, as if you book about
delivering customer astonishment.

So that's what I think we should be doing.

We should definitely over-deliver,
give them more than they

even know that they need.

Astonishment.

Love that word … gosh,
the word astonishment.

Like so if I was at home, I'd
be delving in my bookshelf about

now finding the book for you.

But I'm in…

Look, look, I'm in Scotland.

Look.

Ooh.

It is bonny.

Ah.

It's very bonny, and I have fallen
in love with our Scottish neighbors.

And the people in the pub are fabulous.

Little tiny village, and the
pub is no bigger than this

conservatory I'm sitting in.

It's minuscule, but it's great

Oh, what have we got here?

Okay

So here is the question.

This is about the practice, your
practice we did, um, on, on Thur- the

first Thursday of the month, on the 1st.

And we were talking
about health and strokes.

And when I was looking at what I was
gonna do to share with you about how you

could help people that had suffered a
stroke, I thought about Crabby because

he had a stroke in December 2019.

So I asked him to join me so that we could
have a discussion about his experience.

He o- he had a, I say only, he had a minor
stroke, and, and he's fully recovered

There are some people that have many
minor strokes, and it almost becomes

habitual for them to have that response

And after a while they can recover, and
they can recover fully and, and join life.

And of course, there are some people where
they have other challenges, where you

might have the fact that their mouth goes
down or they lose the ability to speak or,

or move their arms and legs and things.

So this question is…

Oh, and for those that don't know, Steve
called his stroke a mild stroke of luck.

So the question is, "Steve's mild stroke
of luck and Tina's explanations about

how we can help were really inspiring."

Thank you, and thank you.

"I'm guessing that all stroke
patients are affected differently.

What do you say to patients to ensure
that their expectations are appropriate

and ensure that neither the therapist
nor the patient are set up to fail?"

Now, that's a, that's
a really good question.

If you think about the whole ethos
surrounding NLP and what we teach-

We're really aware of the
effect that ha- our language

has on the listener, are we not?

We pay attention to that.

And the same thing happens when
we're working with your patients.

You are aware of what you say, and
how what you say can affect them

and the responses that they have

Elizabeth and I were like little girls
giggling in the back of the bus yesterday.

We, we, we had a, a day trip
to Loch Ness and the Highlands.

Not something I'd ever want to do again.

Not because I didn't enjoy the trip.

It's 10 hours traveling to spend three
hours somewhere was rather a lot.

I think what I'd, I'd love to do it
again, but next time I'd like to do

it incrementally and drive and stop
in this town and stop in that town.

Um, anyway, we're on the bus, uh, and
the person giving us the commentary

Um, so the bus we got was
actually for Italian tourists.

We couldn't find one for English tourists

So there was an Italian speaking
to us in English, and we had the

little headphone-y things on.

And the rest of the bus were
Italian getting it in Italian.

And, um, her accent was wonderful.

It gave me wonderful memories of
being in Italy and all the wonderful

Italians that I have association with.

And Marco, if you're there, mwah.

Um, and, and of course she started
out, and she was so concerned

And she managed to- well, she, well,
she could have quite easily installed

something in the listeners on the bus.

I don't know what they said
in Italian, but in English

it went something like this.

"So we're going to be on the bus
for a very long time, and I know

that a lot of you get travel sick."

"But while we're on the bus as it gets
hot, 'cause it can get very hot on the

bus, and we all know that when you're
sick the hot makes you feel sicker.

And there is a likelihood that you're
going to be sick while you're on the bus.

So as we're traveling on the bus and
the bus is gonna be going round these,

these roads and swerving from side to
side, I know you're gonna feel sick.

If you get to the point where you feel so
thick that you need to physically be sick,

press your button and we'll stop the bus."

Elizabeth and I were in hysterics at
the back of the bus, and people were

turning around and looking at us.

We're like, "What is she doing?"

So just like when you're a tour guide
full of a coach load of people going down

little windy roads in the Highlands of
Scotland, it's not a good idea to suggest

that your passengers are gonna be sick.

When you're working with a- someone who's
recovering from a stroke or anything

else, any other challenge they've had,

remain positive

I say things like, you know, the
majority of people, although they may be

challenged at this time, get through this

And get back to normality or as close
to normality as possible, depending on

what's happened when they have the stroke.

So I remain positive, you know?

And, and I always say the majority
of, because if you're gonna say,

"Well, everyone will get better," in
their head they're gonna be thinking,

"No, they don't," because we see
people where their mouths are not

right and they can't move properly.

So it's up to you to use your linguistic
skill and actually give positive

suggestions of healing, and how they will
get better, and they will find a way out.

Um, so that's how I
would deal with that one.

There's part two of this question.

So thank you for reminding
us about the 7-11 breathing.

Steve found that really useful, 'cause
when he was healing, he had moments where

he felt anxious, 'cause he'd never been
in that position before, and he used

the, the deep, slow 7-11 breathing to
get rid of his an- anxiety and to become

more grounded and clear in his mind

So this person has said, "One
of my clients believed that

the breathing made her anxious.

I wonder what light you can set on this."

So-

I have taught this breathing to
thousands of people to help them

relax, to help them de-stress.

And I have had less than the
number of fingers I have on one

hand- … say to me, um, "I can't do it.

It makes me feel anxious."

And then I've said, "Well,
show me what you're doing."

And I've had them demonstrate it
to me because I know if they do

it the way they're supposed to
do it, they can't feel anxious

I have found people have kind of done the

Because they do the deep, slow breath,
and if they're not used to breathing that

deeply and that slowly, they've kind of
breathed out really, really quickly and

started panting, almost like they wanna
get that, uh, carbon dioxide and oxygen

balance back to where it was before
they did the one deep, slow breath.

I don't know why or what.

Uh, I have walked them through it,
and I've never had anybody who does

the exercise who then feels anxious.

That's the only thing I can respond there.

Hmm.

I've known somebody- Yeah … who,
when I ask the same question, "Show me

what you're doing", I could tell that
they weren't counting and concentrating

on the counting, and the pictures
they were making were not great.

Ah.

So once they were making the pictures
associated with the thing that was

the anxious trigger, albeit that
they were trying to do the breathing-

Yeah … that memory was so strong.

So we can combine it, can't
we, with- Oh, you can.

Yeah … some positive suggestions
about actually focusing their mind in

other places- Yeah, and if they've got-

on better things whilst breathing … if
I've got something like that, I'd

say- Yeah … "Okay, so step back.

Put that over here.

Put that all the way over here, and
then we're gonna get rid of that, and

now I want you to start breathing."

Yeah.

Mm.

There's all sorts of things you can do.

If they say it makes them feel
anxious, they're not doing it.

They're doing something else.

Uh, so the next thing I've got here is…

Ooh, here we go.

Um, I must, I must…

This comes with an Elizabeth warning.

If a client came to see you that suffered
from severe panic attacks post-stroke

to the extent that during the panic
attack they couldn't even identify they

were having a panic attack, and just
went into fight or flight mode, what

technique would you advise they use for
self-hypnosif proactive daily treatment?

So, the first thought that the naughty
Sagittarian girls had, 'cause Elizabeth

and I are both- … Sagittarians, and we
both have a very naughty sense of humor.

We are both a bit of keener.

The first thought we had was, if they
don't know they're having a panic attack-

Then are they really
having a panic attack?

If the tree falls and there's no
one there, does it make a sound?

It came across as a
Schrödinger's cat question.

If the cat's in the box and you
don't see it, is it really there?

Um-

So then we had to step back and
think, "So what does this mean?"

Um, so if we forget about the fact
that they couldn't even identify they

were having a panic attack, because if
they don't think they're having a panic

attack, then that doesn't come into the
equation of what they're seeking help for.

We can only work with what is and what
they believe is and what they're aware of.

So if they just went into
fight or flight mode-

Again, I'm thinking, "Well,
what does that mean?"

When you go into fight or flight mode

Heart beats faster,
breathing rate changes.

Um, some people feel anxious,
some people feel powerful.

Um, what does that mean?

If they don't- People, people going into
a fight mode will even fight off people-

Yeah … that are trying to help them.

They will.

Yeah.

They'll, yeah.

And, you know, flight, people
would want to move, albeit that the

stroke may well have affected them.

Yeah.

And, and they may be trying to run away.

Mobility.

They try to run away, but
they can't, and then, yeah.

So all of these things, we've just
talked about this 7-11 breathing that- Mm

Steve talked about, that
really, really helped him.

One of the things that the 7-11
breathing does is it equalizes the

carbon dioxide and oxygen mix up here.

Because we know when people go into
panic, when they're super anxious,

super stressed, that mix is out of sync.

We also know by slowing down the
breathing and getting them to focus-

The heart rate comes down, the
breathing is obviously changed 'cause

you forced it to become slower.

They get a much better, healthier mix
deep in their unconscious mind, and

they don't feel panic, anxious, anything

So I would start

with teaching them the 7/11 breathing,
and I would get them to practice daily

And then when I see them the next time,
making sure they've got that sorted out,

then we can begin to move on to teach
them other things that they can do.

And Steve was talking about that
reset being regular, wasn't he?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

About resetting, doing that breathing
regularly throughout the day.

Yeah.

I mean, it's…

W- there's a handout that…

Steve and I have a similar handout that
we give to our clients, and it says on

that handout to repeat and to practice the
breathing exercise several times a day.

Um, and I've had people say to
me, "Well, you know, I didn't

feel anxious several times a day."

And I go, "No, you practice it
regardless as to how you're feeling."

And in fact, I prefer them to practice
it when they don't feel anxious, 'cause

I want to create an automatic response.

'Cause it's harder for them to
practice it when they're anxious

than it is for them to practice when
they, when they're feeling calm.

So when you're feeling calm, sit down and
spend five minutes doing this breathing.

It's all you have to do.

Mm.

That's a nice invitation.

Do that half a dozen times a
day, and then should you start to

feel panicky, then you just stop-

Start breathing and your brain
goes, "I know what to do here"

I'm being distracted
by bats in the garden.

Sorry.

I'm sorry, guys.

I was like, "What is that?"

It's twilight time.

Yes

So, ah, I'm gonna go to this one.

Um, I asked Elizabeth about
this one because Elizabeth

Is the very first person

I was aware of who specialized
in working with children.

Elizabeth has a great affinity
to children, and she has this

uh, what it is a belief.

But she has this mission that if
we can empower children, we'll

have less screwed up adults.

Mm.

If you watch this later, Elizabeth,
I know you're eating your dinner

right now when you should be
here with me answering questions.

If you do watch this later-

And that you're saying,
"Ah, it's not what I think.

I think it is."

That's my map.

Oh, yeah.

Get them early.

Get them early.

I know.

Empower them.

So here we go.

"I'm currently working with a young
person who had symptoms of emetophobia.

After one session, she can now
talk about sickness without

the previous, previous unwanted
feelings, feeling sick in her tummy."

We're back on sick.

Your tummy and making- Yeah.

This is-

This is a vomiting girl The theme of
the night The theme of the night, yes.

Um, so she ate a proper meal for the first
time in a fortnight, okay, uh, has told

mom she now has something in her throat.

The young person was reluc-
so, so I'm gonna stop there.

I stopped at that point because
the general thought was, between

both of us, Elizabeth and I, what
does she get from this behavior?

Mm.

You know?

She's, she's…

You got rid of one thing,
but, "Oh, no, I can't.

I can't swallow.

Something in my throat, mommy" Yeah.

So that was our first thought.

What is our secondary gain?

Um, and then it goes on, the young
person was reluctant to do any

for- any NLP or formal hypnosis.

So we both laughed at that point and
said, "Dude, you're the therapist.

You're in control."

If they don't do what you want them to
do, pfft, and I know Crabby's talked about

this as well- Big time … it's like,
you know, do you know how this works?

Do you know how your brain works?

No.

That's why you have me.

This is what we're going to do.

So we both went, "Dude, no."

Yeah.

Um, so the pro- so she won't do any
NLP or formal hypnosis, so the progress

to date has been via conversational
change and storytelling, which is great.

That works too.

Further context, older sister who has
recently been sectioned due to anorexia.

Isn't that great?

Her big sister gets all of that attention
because she's ill and she won't eat.

Mm.

Hmm.

The fam- that was Elizabeth's thought.

The family believe that the anorexia
started with emetophobia and are fearful

that history is repeating itself.

Well, you could say it
is a learned behavior.

What does she get from the behavior?

Um, so Elizabeth's told me a
story about, um, she had a client

recently where the dad wanted to
book everybody on a family holiday

And the daughter, the
young daughter, didn't…

said she couldn't go 'cause
she had a phobia of bugs

So the, the, the dad's secretary rang
Elizabeth and said that the dad wanted

Elizabeth to work with his daughter.

And Elizabeth is going, "I
need to talk to at least the

parent, preferably the child."

Wasn't gonna happen.

Very powerful man that has his
assistant, his secretary does

everything, sets it all up.

Daughter, daughter eventually came to
see Elizabeth, and Elizabeth said to

the daughter, "So what's this all about?

You know, I've no idea.

I haven't spoken to you.

I haven't spoken to your dad.

Um, so why does your dad want me…

want you to come and see me?"

Um, and the daughter then s- went
on some story telling Elizabeth

about this phobia of bugs she had.

And Elizabeth said after 20
minutes she stopped the daughter

and said, "What's going on?

We both know you've just given
me bullshit for 20 minutes."

"What's this all about?

So, okay, so why don't you wanna
go on holiday with your family?"

And it turns out that something happened
in that location, and the daughter

doesn't wanna go back there because
of what happened in the location.

Got nothing to do with boats.

Well, Elizabeth said, "Go and tell
your dad what you've just told me."

Uh, and the daughter did, and they
went somewhere else for holiday.

So it's like- Um, what is this, what is
this child getting from this behavior?

What does it do for her?

What does it get her?

Children are not stupid

If they can see this person gets
a lot of attention because of this

behavior, "Oh, I'd like attention.

Maybe if I did something similar,
I could get attention like that."

We don't know.

We're, um, we're mind reading
'cause we really don't know.

I would want to know what
does the child get out of it.

Uh, and I'd also go back and say,
"Look, you know, we've done the,

we've done the, the storytelling.

We've done the conversational change.

We need to up it a bit.

We need to get down to the NLP
techniques or the hypnosis.

If that's not what you want, then
I'm not the person to help you,

'cause that's what I think you need."

And sometimes you have to do that.

Uh, I had a client, an, an adult, uh, in
2020 that was referred to me, and every

day that I s- every time I saw her, she
tried to get me to do what she wanted.

I, I…

"Well, this is my problem and
this is what I want you to do."

And I'd say, "Well, if that's
the answer, you do it."

I said, "Well, I need you to do it."

I said, "Yeah, but I
don't think that's the

answer."

You think that's the answer.

I think we need you- There are times
when being authoritative is so much

more important than being permissive.

There are, yeah.

Yeah.

Especially if you've taught somebody
something and they're not practicing

it, they're not applying it.

Um, I'd- I managed to find myself
on one occasion out and about

with a child because she'd been
agoraphobic, couldn't go into shops.

So when it came to testing the
work, I said, "Right, come on then.

Let's go.

Where should we go?

Which town?"

Mm.

So you'll laugh at this one.

So we get to a local town, and it's
market day- … so the shops are outside.

And her problem is that she can't go
in a shop- Yeah … and the door shut.

Um, but at the point where I said,
"Okay, you're not using that anchor, I'm

going home," that's when she kicked off.

Yeah.

So I said, "Well, I'll go home.

You use the anchor.

You'll be able to go in that shop and
buy whatever it is that you want."

And of course she could.

Yeah.

So, you know- Yeah … she was certainly
controlling both parents and me until

the point where I said, "No more."

Yeah.

That's it.

And I think you have to do that.

I mean, I, I come straight out the gate
and say, you know, "This is what it is.

This is what we're gonna do."

I worked with a, uh, saw a young
man quite recently, and he, his dad

brought him to see me for a chat
first, uh, 'cause I wasn't sure whether

I was gonna work with him or not.

Um, he's very autistic.

Okay.

Um, and absolutely amazing mathematician

Uh, at og- A's with all of
his ex- all of his GCSEs.

He's got 14 GCSEs.

Wonderful.

He's doing four A-levels right now.

Uh, and he wants to go to Cambridge.

So his dad wants me to help
his son get to Cambridge.

Um, and that was interesting because the
dad came with him, um, and the dad was

saying this, this, this, this and this.

And I, 'cause I said to
the boy, "Is that right?"

And he was like, "Mm."

And I went, "No, you tell me."

You know?

I said, I said, "Look, he's
paying the bill, but I'm here

for you, so you tell me."

Yes.

And- And I'm curious- So- … what
aspect he wanted help with.

Well, he's, he's…

The dad said he needed help
with, um, anxiety about exams.

Mm-hmm.

And I said, "Well, you've
just got 14 A's in your

GCSEs."

And he said, "Well, I had
12 A-stars and two A's."

So he didn't like the fact
that he didn't get 12 A stars.

I've literally this week
had a very similar inquiry.

Um, and we talked about that for a bit.

Um, and we changed the submodalities
of how he thought of that in his

head, so then he was okay with that.

Um, and then he told me about how he
wants to be able to go to Cambridge,

and he's applied to go to Cambridge.

Um, he wants to do chemistry,
physics, uh, I don't…

maths.

I think maths and chemi- I don't know,
but he wants to be a scientist, and he

wants to work on, uh, the atmosphere
around the planet, 'cause it worries him

what's happening with our atmosphere,
and he's got some ideas as to how it can

be cleaned up and all this other stuff.

Wow.

Um, yeah.

I…

It's fascinating.

And, and we, we, we've had a session,
and he's coming back next week.

Um, and he loved the session.

He loved what I was teaching
him he could do with his brain.

Um- Fantastic … of course, he
kept talking about probabilities.

Uh, and, and he's done his research,
and he's, he's found accurately

what's in the atmosphere of
the planet, and it worries him.

And, and I asked him about the
probability of it actually affecting

anybody, and he was going, "Well, at
the moment, the probability of, of the

atmosphere, um, killing somebody or
making them seriously ill is whatever."

Uh, and I said, "What about the
probability of being run over by a bus?"

"Oh, that's higher," he said.

And

I'm like, "Well, what about
the probability of…"

And I got the flip chart out, and he was
doing equations on my flip chart, and

he was telling me about the probability
of this, this, this, this, and this.

Happiness.

And he wants to go to Cambridge,
and he was worried about

having to be there on his own.

But his dad then said, "But you go out
with your friend, and you're okay."

And I went, "Oh, what's
the probability of that?"

So we were doing more equations.

I said, "Well, who else can
you be with and feel okay?"

And so we were adding about different
things and, and how he felt and what

he needed and yeah That's a great
example of using his metaphors, his

interests as- Yeah … convinces.

Yeah.

So- Probability What's the
probability of this then?

Probability- I can tell you
had fun working with him.

We had lots of fun.

As, and he want- Yeah … and
he wants to come back, so.

Brilliant.

And, and he's, he's at a, a, a posh
private school not far from where

I live, so he's gonna come and
see me after school one evening.

Um, and we're gonna do…

And he said to me, "You will have
enough flip chart, won't you?"

But he also has, I've also got to teach
him, 'cause he has obsessive thoughts.

Mm-hmm.

So I'm, I'm…

I haven't got there yet 'cause I,
I was doing something else, but

I'm gonna be working with him to
teach him how to shh those obsessive

thoughts and how to train his brain.

I said, "It's like an equation."

Mm.

And I actually, I wrote the strategy
down on the board of what he did,

and he went, "It is an equation."

I said, "Yes, it is."

I told him how Richard was a mathematician

Yeah.

So how long until we see
him on The Practitioner?

Wow.

I don't know.

He's- I gotta get through his, uh,
through his Cambridge interview yet.

Yeah.

But going back to where we,
um, started tonight, I can

hear that he was astonished.

He was … at his appetite.

He definitely, definitely wants more.

He definitely wants more.

Yeah.

Amazing.

Very, he wants to know what
his brain does, how it works.

Um, and I gave him things to,
to read about, and I gave…

I told…

I got him reading about the
placebo effect, 'cause he was

so worried about the atmosphere.

So I taught him about
placebos and nocebos.

Mm.

Um, and I sent him away and told him
to look at Bruce Lipton on YouTube.

Yeah

He's very excited.

I can't wait to see what he's
gonna do at Cambridge, actually.

So we've talked about, uh … So convers-
how would you explain conversational

change and storytelling to the family

I'm not quite sure that
I would, to be fair.

Um, I might say to the family, um,
if, if I was working with a, with a

small child, and when I have worked
with small children, I tend to do it

through metaphor, through storytelling.

Um, but you see, I
sneak hypnosis in there.

I don't just have the story Oh, yeah.

It's just, it's not just telling a story.

There, there's, there are embedded
commands, and all the Milton

model patterns are in there.

Much like when Milton Erickson worked
with the, uh, the farmer that had cancer,

and he used to tell him stories about
growing tomato plants, um, because-

Yeah … he didn't want, the farmer
didn't wanna be hypnotized, but he had

chronic pain he needed to be dealt with.

And Milton just sat and talked to
him about growing plants, but within

that conversation, he put all the
embedded commands to be comfortable

and, and to reduce the pain.

Um- Yeah.

I, I think you gotta know your
audience and, you know, some parents

will hear what you're doing and
not repeat it, Yeah … 'cause

obviously you don't want it unraveled.

Um, but there's great
opportunities in that storytelling.

There are, there are great
opportunities in storytelling.

You know, and I might say, "Look,
you know, I, I do use stories.

Um, and within my stories, there
will be other stories that are in

there to help your child change."

But I only ever used to use
storytelling with small children.

Once they got to about eight, I was
just doing NLP, swish patterns and

things, because they loved those.

Yeah.

Once they get to eight, nine, they just-
Yeah … adore changing pictures in their

minds- Yeah, yeah … and s- turning
things down, brightening things up.

They love it.

Definitely.

So…

Ooh, look, we got, mm-hmm, seven minutes.

I'm gonna do this, this,
this last one here.

So, uh, a recent weight loss
client noted she felt lost after

a serious traumatic illness.

I knew she was dissociated because she
was watching herself in her mind's eye.

I used a range of techniques
to get her reassociated again,

including regression and swish.

Now, this bit did confuse both of us

Because swish is a dissociation technique.

When you do the swish
pattern, you look at yourself

If you were associated, you
wouldn't be able to swish them.

So I'm not quite sure how
you're using the swish.

Um, swish is definitely not
something to associate into

With some people, if they have
been really disassociated, I've had

them in trance kind of climb into
themselves and, and get the feeling

so that they're back in the world.

Uh, and that's been very useful, and
I've taught them how they can do that.

The thing is, with some people,
if they are dissociated,

um, and if they're suffering from trauma,
and I'm kind of feeling, as it says

traumatic illness, there may be trauma in
there, they won't want to be associated.

So you would have to deal with the trauma
first before you can get them fully in.

So then it goes on, "Once reassociating
in trance, he appeared hypersensitive."

So I'm thinking that that's because
the trauma hadn't been dealt with.

"So I was careful to keep dissociated
to deal with some sensitive issues.

I'm now wondering about
dissociation and trauma."

And then the question is, how
do you deal with reassociating a

person who is disassociated after
something traumatic, traumatic?

Is getting unconscious
agreement important?

Mm.

Mm.

So first of all, if they've, if
they've suffered with something

traumatic, then I would do, um,
I would deal with the trauma.

So I might do change personal history
or some other timeline technique to help

them review the trauma differently and to
file it away differently inside their mind

They're having an unconscious agreement

Hmm.

So that had me thinking.

You see, I don't often
ask, is the unconscious in

agreement with what I'm doing

No, 'cause then you can get- I
just tell it … you can get a no.

If I just tell it that
they're going to do it.

Yeah, I, I don't think I'm
very permissive, uh, with

my, with my instructions.

Um, I just make what it is they
tell me they want so appealing

that they're drawn towards it

So I haven't actually asked, is
the unconscious willing to do that?

If I'm doing something like six-step
reblaming, sorry, reframing, um-

I might, at that point, set up
the, the, the finger signals and

then ask, um, "Are you willing to
do this as an experiment for the

next blah, blah, blah, blah, blah?"

But then again, if there's a, like a no,
I then look for, okay, so go and negotiate

and find a way that you can kind of thing.

Yeah.

And I loved the, um, your action
there with them deep trance

identifying- … with themselves.

Yeah.

So certainly when, you know, if I'm
working with children and they want

to do something, they may well put a
costume on to feel- Yeah … in the

right place- Oh, we do, don't they?

… the right state of mind.

Yeah, they do.

So what a, you know, that's a great idea
to help- Ooh … somebody to reassociate

when actually their brain's gone, "Uh-uh,
I don't want to be here for a while."

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because, of course, when you deal with
the trauma, you're dissociated anyway.

Yeah.

And I like, I like the, the…

I mean, John does the guilt
eradicator, but he also, you can

also use it as a way to go back and
change a decision that you made.

There are so many ways, and you
can go back to before the trauma

and remember what that was like
and associate into that person.

There's so many different ways
you can use time and dissociation.

Mm-hmm.

And I remember there was, there was a…

Oh, there was an exercise once.

I can't remember.

I don't think I did it on an NLP course.

I think I- it's something I might have
read about it but I don't know whose

it is, so I can't give them credit.

I'm sorry.

But with this exercise, they have the
person float out to the point in the

future where their problems were solved.

Associate with that person

Get all the resources they had, and
then staying associated, they came back

to the present, taking themselves back
through all the things they did to get to

the point where the problem was solved.

It's a bit complicated to…

Yeah.

That I…

Yeah.

Now, I would attribute it to John La
Valle walking back along the timeline.

Maybe it was John La Valle.

Picking, picking up all the resources.

Yes.

So John, if that was you- Everything
that you'd had to do on the way.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's what I recall.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Wow.

Um, so- How are we doing?

We're doing good.

I think, yeah, we're up to our 8:00.

Yeah.

I didn't see any
questions come in tonight.

We've got Sue there with us.

Hi, Sue.

Hi, Sue.

And, um, yeah.

Great discussion.

Yeah.

Great answers.

And thank you for joining me this evening.

It's been my pleasure.

I've really enjoyed it.

I notice I've got the mirrors going on.

You've got the conservatory.

And wow, what an atmosphere
with those lights.

I know.

Look.

All looks really atmospheric up there.

Beautiful view.

It, uh- Albeit it's, it's getting
dark now … the, the sky is wonderful

because, of course, being down south
where we have all those toxins and

things that my young man doesn't like
in the air, you can't see the stars.

But here you can.

Oh.

We have a fire pit and we sat out the
other night, and we had the fire pit,

and we were looking at the stars.

Yeah.

Of course.

And much closer to those northern lights.

Yeah, I might not come back.

I might stay here.

You might get lots of visitors.

I might do.

There's a house down the
road that I was, I was…

The other day I…

The guy that came up when we had
the, the f- the, the chat outside

by the fire pit, he was telling me
about a house down the road that's

for sale that's got some cottages.

And I'm thinking, "I could buy
the house down the road and I can-

Uh-huh … … rent out the cottages."

So I've just seen we've got,
um, Albert Rodriguez has just

joined watching, so- Hi, Albert

yeah

Ah, so you're back to the pub.

I'm going back to the pub.

I wonder what the main
course is going to be.

I don't know.

And what have we been?

Have we been an aperitif?

Steve talked a lot about aperitifs

this morning.

He did, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, so I, I went out, I had my,
my deep-fried Camembert, and I'm

gonna go back to a haggis burger.

Ooh, that sounds nice.

I'm gonna try a haggis burger.

When, when in Rome, when in Scotland.

Absolutely.

And- It's gotta be done … and I found
the perfect birthday present for Crabby.

Ooh.

Mm.

See you soon.

See you soon.

Bye.

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

Thanks.

Bye.

Thank you for watching