NLP MasterCLASS

Speaker: So we are recording.

Are we live streaming?

I believe we are.

Speaker 2: We're
definitely live streaming.

Speaker: Let me have a look.

Yes.

Yeah.

Speaker 2: See I've got you looking now.

See?

Yeah.

I've taught you to look, see.

Fabulous.

He's believing.

So there we are.

Speaker: I see.

I'm in, I'm in my very expensive
filing cabinet, my office,

which I visit very, very rarely.

And I've got this Mac
screen, which is so big.

I have to wear my glasses all the
time now to see, because I'm so close.

And, uh, if you see me looking around like
this, it's going to be via accessing cues.

I'm just trying to find out where
everything is on the screen.

Speaker 2: Oh dear.

Speaker: So we're live.

Are we Tina?

Speaker 2: We're definitely live.

I have looked, we're definitely live.

Uh, there's no Tanya as yet.

She tells me, hold on.

She says I'm in the chippy.

There you go.

So Tanya, I dunno whether
you're back from the Chippy yet.

Speaker: Well,

Speaker 2: I guess you will be soon.

So shall we begin?

Speaker: Yeah.

Well good evening everyone,
and I hope you're well.

Speaker 2: Enjoying the
sunshine if you're in the uk.

It's been beautiful.

Speaker: Make the most of it guys.

Yeah,

Speaker 2: definitely,
definitely Enjoy it.

This could be summer, these few days

Speaker: we do talk about and we do
moan about the weather, don't we?

Yeah,

Speaker 2: we wouldn't be British if
we didn't complain about the weather.

It's still cold.

What?

Speaker: Bloody on.

So lemme just put my phone on silent.

So how are you Tina?

Speaker 2: I am good.

I'm good.

I've, I've had an interesting few days.

Um, and one of the questions we've
got later on, I'll discuss about my

interesting few days because I think
it's quite funny and appropriate.

Uh, yeah.

I've had an interesting few days and I'm
home alone with my two teenage grandsons.

'cause my daughter's gone off to have
surgery in Turkey on her teeth, and

my husband's taken his little girl.

What that means basically is
she's at the dentist and he's

sitting by the pool drinking beer.

Speaker: That sounds a good plan.

I've got two daughters.

Do you think that'll ever happen to me?

Yeah,

Speaker 2: you can only but home state.

Speaker: He's not picking up the bill
or, or the tab for the teeth, does he?

No.

Oh, okay.

That's even better.

Yeah.

Speaker 2: Not only is she paying for her
teeth, she's paid for him to go with her.

Speaker: Oh, okay.

I'm gonna make a note of this.

Yeah.

I got two holidays already planned.

Two sometime in the future.

Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.

Well she was meant to be going with
her, with her boyfriend, but, um,

unfortunately his passport had expired.

Speaker: Yeah, you gotta be
careful with those passports.

Now they, if you're like six months
or five months left on passport.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

You've got about six months.

Yeah.

Speaker: Some places won't let you in.

Yeah.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

He only had four months left on his
passport, so he couldn't travel.

So she was really miffed and,
'cause she's having major surgery,

she had to have someone with her.

So daddy went on a holiday.

Speaker: Sounds a good plan.

Oh,

Speaker 2: I've given him a list
of presents I'm expecting there.

Speaker: Yeah, yeah.

Well you are.

You are there with the teenage boys.

You deserve it.

Speaker 2: Oh yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Speaker: I can't think of anything worse

Speaker 2: actually.

Actually, I must just say, I must just
say that Logan, I'm always moaning

about Logan at the moment, is an angel.

He wakes up in the morning, he
makes his bed, cleans his room.

He's being phenomenal.

He said to me yesterday, I
wouldn't do this for mummy.

Speaker: Yeah.

So do you know the first thing
that came to my head was.

What's he done?

What's he done?

It's either, what's he
after or what's he done?

Speaker 2: Oh, in the end it's
probably, what's he after?

I'll, I'll get that later.

Okay.

And and the other one, the other
one who goes to college, he's 18.

Getting him outta bed in the morning
is a nightmare, but he's just getting

up and he is getting showered and
going off to get his bus to college.

The boys have been fabulous
and they're helping.

Speaker: Yeah.

Fabulous.

They, they don't sound like
teenagers, I have to say.

I do remember talking to
Michael O'Neal about my children

who are now 25, 24, and 21.

Uh, this, so they, this
was, or 10 years ago.

And, um,

Speaker 2: 25, 24 and 20.

Speaker: Oh, I can hear me.

Um,

Speaker 2: this is, yeah, that was me.

I'm sorry.

Speaker: Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2: I'm

Speaker: trying to

Speaker 2: remember the message we've got.

Speaker: And I remember saying
to him, because he, he said, you

know how the, how's the family?

I said, it's really weird.

Nothing bad's happened yet.

And he said, um, it doesn't ha
nothing bad has to happen, Steve.

You realize that?

I said, yeah, but I'm only going
by other people that I know.

And

Speaker 2: no, I honestly,
the boys have been fabulous.

When, when, when Steve went off
with Joey on Tuesday, I said to

them, I said, look, I'm really busy.

I've got a lot work to do.

Um, I will obviously accommodate you.

I'll make sure there's food in
the fridge and, and you get what

you need for college and school.

I said, and they went,
that's okay grandma.

We'll help where we can.

Speaker: Mm-hmm.

Well see this.

Will this, uh, hypnosis and persuasion
and influence comes, doesn't it?

Speaker 2: I, of course.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And grandma's our best after all.

But I must say I love Norway's,
uh, Eurovision entrance.

Gotta feed the wolf a banana.

Speaker: Oh, yes.

Speaker 2: Before it ease my grandma.

Speaker: Yeah.

Um, uh, actually on,
was it Saturday night?

I got really into Eurovision.

I felt European again.

I do miss being.

Yeah.

Um, but it was a very cringe moment
when I felt, oh no, please don't win.

Speaker 2: I know.

Yeah.

We've been waiting 25 years.

Be in the top 10 and it's the one year
where we could have beaten the Ukraine and

it was like, oh no, we can't, we can't.

Speaker: Oh no.

I just felt like, oh,
we'd have to apologize.

We're really sorry.

Speaker 2: Yeah,

Speaker: yeah,

Speaker 2: yeah.

But we didn't, so it's good.

Speaker: Yeah.

So Tina, we have got, um, we got a list
of questions, haven't we, from people?

We

Speaker 2: do have a list of questions.

Yeah.

Some, we've got people working.

Hello.

Hello.

Jane.

Regina Tanya's back from the Chippy.

Hope you got

Speaker: Fabulous.

Speaker 2: A more Lee
with your fish and chips.

Speaker: Yeah.

So we've got quite a list of
questions actually, so it's good.

I mean, the, the questions don't
always get posted in the comments.

These get emailed to us.

Um, and most of 'em are related to the
secret agents change membership sessions.

So I guess we have to do a bit of
a pre-frame to let those on in the

membership group know what the, uh,
lessons are about for the moment.

Speaker 2: Ah, yes, we will.

Yeah.

And, and also with the questions,
we set this up primarily for the

people in our membership group and.

When we've answered their questions,
then we'll answer any other

questions that, that we have.

So shall I start?

So this month we were looking
at relationships and we

thought we'd look at gender.

There's a whole lot that we often
hear in the press from the l lgbtq

plus community about various issues
that they face and the things that,

that are going on in their world.

And one of my, well, one of our friends
and, and somebody that works closely with

us, with the the diploma and the clinical
hypnotherapy training is Gloria Hammett.

I always say she's a
recovering psychotherapist.

So Gloria has spent a lot of time
over, over the years working with

people with transgender issues and
she worked quite closely with, um, Dr.

Wendy Peters, who is actually
trans as a trans woman.

And so I got together with Gloria
and Wendy to basically ask them how

they would like us as NLP coaches, as
hypnotherapist to help the community.

What can we do when we have a client
from that community, specifically someone

with trans and with gender issues?

What can we do to help them?

Um, and we had some very
interesting responses.

I hadn't expected Dr.

Wendy to explain about her transition,
and I thought that was interesting

for everybody because I think a lot
of time you just don't understand.

What somebody goes through when
they're stuck and they really don't

feel like they're in the right body.

So if I go to the first question,
which is, uh, here we go.

Thank you Tina Gloria and Dr.

Wendy Peters for such an
informative discussion this month.

The conversation covered a broad range of
issues, so I'm hoping to narrow it down.

If approached by the L-B-G-T-Q community,
what issues are likely to be presented and

what do we have in our toolkit to help?

Now, one of the things I said to Dr.

Wendy right at the beginning is,
I mean, I have had people ask

me, how can we help people that
are confused with their gender?

And in my head.

I just kind of, well, I still think
that whatever we do that works with

human beings, works with human beings
and we have a lovely process, you

know, the NLP process of change
and we don't really need content.

We are just looking at
the strategy, aren't we?

We are looking at what they're
doing in their head that isn't

working and how we can give them
the resources so that it does work.

So I think sometimes we just get tied
up that this is a certain kind of

person where the problems are faced
just by them, but not necessarily.

'cause I think everybody needs
confidence and self-esteem, as Dr.

Wendy said, that that's what they need
and, and possibly how to deal with.

What's happening with the
way they're being treated?

I mean, we work with all sorts of
people that have issues about being

bullied or being threatened, and we
have strategies for helping them.

And it's no different if they're
transitioning Now, she did say that

she got very impatient when she
was transitioning, and, and I know

that she was able to do this quite
quickly compared to other people.

Uh, and she was also able
to pay for her surgery.

So maybe there's something
connected with that as well.

Uh, do you want anything to add?

Steve?

Can you hear my neighbor's
children screaming?

Speaker: I can hear somebody screaming.

I'm assuming it's,

Speaker 2: I'm gonna go while you speak.

I'm gonna go and close the door
because the, okay, fair, fair.

Next door playing in the garden.

And I have,

Speaker: I thought, I thought it was my
internal dialogue for a moment there.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

No,

Speaker: it's children.

So why Tina is dealing with the
screaming children next door.

Um.

It.

First of all, it was a fascinating
conversation and I really

appreciate Gloria and Tina and Dr.

Wendy Peter, putting that together.

Um, it's an area where I've not
actually worked with anybody from

the LGB GT LGBTQ plus community.

Um, that's just not happened, which
is actually quite a rare thing.

It made me consider that, um, because
I always say there isn't a situation

which I've not worked with somebody.

Um, but that's not true.

This is an area where I've
not worked with someone.

So the only thing I've gotta add is what
occurred to me is that it seemed to me

so important when working with, and I
think it's important with anyone, working

with anyone, is not to impose our map.

Upon them.

Speaker 2: Yes, I agree.

Speaker: Yeah.

To be very clean and make sure
that our views, our opinions, our

judgements, our biases, our beliefs
don't in get in the way of allowing

somebody to explore their own map.

Speaker 2: Hmm.

Speaker: Um, I know I've, I've think
I've been borderline guilty of it on

some occasions where, and, uh, maybe
my ego's getting in the way with this

when I say borderline guilty of it.

So it might have had more, more than
once where I've been working with

someone and almost like gone, ah, I
know what this person needs to do.

Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: Yeah.

And then caught myself before I kind
of lead the witness, your honor,

and nudge them in a direction.

Yeah.

And I think any situation, and this
one in particular, when people are

making choices, making decisions,
they're being influenced by all sorts

of people and they're going through
a long process and they're navigating

what must be a difficult terrain.

Um.

You know, as a coach we are there to
help them to navigate sometimes and

not to do the navigation for them.

Not to say this is what you should do.

Um, so that's anything.

And it's just one other thing as
well, really, I think you should,

from an NL Ps perspective, also
really listen out to the mod operators

when you're working with someone.

Speaker 2: Definitely.

Speaker: Yeah.

To see if, um, 'cause they'll give you
clues as to, you know, whether there is,

whether it's coming from them as well
as whether they're being influenced.

'cause you, it's very difficult to
not be influenced by other people's

maps and that includes their friends,
that includes their associates,

that includes their families.

So that's the only thing
I'd like to add to that.

Yeah.

Speaker 2: And, and I think that could
be an issue with the very young people.

'cause I know that one of my
grandsons has a friend and when

COVID kicked off in March, their
friend who is biologically female.

Was female.

And then when their friend came to
school, came back to school when

school reopened in, in the autumn
after all the shutdowns in COVID.

Now he, his friend is a trans male.

Um, now I'm, I'm not sure how I feel
about that because his friend is only 14.

Um, but that said, he is
convinced that he should be a boy.

And I have had a few discussions with
his mom because I've found that there

are a lot of children now that are trans.

I mean, both of my grandsons
have friends that are trans.

And one of them, I even said in the
interview, one of them came out to

me and we were at a family dinner.

And my husband was there.

Both my grandsons, my grandson's
friend whose name was Josh.

And suddenly, while mid mouthful of
Pizza, William Pizza Express, Josh said,

I'm a girl and I want
to be called Jessica.

Um, and as Steve said,
you've gotta stop your map.

And I very nly went to that
place in the life of Brian, where

Eric Idle said I want to be.

And I can't remember the name
that Eric Idle said, want Eric

Idle wanted to be a woman.

And I, and I sort of stopped,
'cause Josh did play tricks and

he did have a warp sense of humor.

And I looked at him and I just
thought, no, he is serious.

So I just said.

Okay, do you want another
Coke or are you done?

Because he just made a statement.

So I just accepted his statement and
I did end up talking to Josh's mom who

did have great difficulty in accepting,
but Josh is now Jessica and is now

going, Josh is, Jessica is now 18 and
is going through all sorts of treatment

and there seem to be a lot.

So sometimes I wonder is that because they
didn't have a chance to come out before,

or, I'm gonna be devil's advocate
now Steve, part of me does think

that some of them will have body
dysmorphia and, and I have been told

by Gloria that that is the case.

Some of them where they go
through the trans, um, I.

And they start along that
line to, to change and become

trans male or trans female.

Um, there is a percentage of them that
at some point realize that actually no,

that's wrong and it is body dysmorphia.

So I'm not quite sure how you
coach somebody through that.

Personally, when I've worked with
someone, I've done everything.

I've gone through well-formed
outcomes to check if it's ecologically

sound, you know, is it true to them?

And I've had them go in and we've
even done like IMRs, we've even done

unconscious signals with the brain.

Um, and they have come out
that it is true to them.

And the people I've worked with
who have transitioned are still

transitioned now and are very happy
with the changes they've made.

Um, so I think it's just going with the
process, the NLP process of change and

instead of thinking this is someone.

Is transitioning or is part of the
l lgbtq plus community think this is

a person, how can I be of service?

How can I help them

Speaker: as you're talking, they
think about, a lot of clients come

in telling us what they want and then
when we sit with them and we meta

model and we do the diagnostic, we
then uncover what it is they need.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: And that's where I think
it can be tricky because, you know,

when we know what someone needs,
that could be imposing our map on

them in conflict to what they want.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: Yeah.

So yeah, I think just,
just be aware that, um,

you know, you are not imposing
your map and delivering.

From my perspective, I always deliver
what a client wants unless I really

feel it's gonna be harmful to them.

And then we'll have
that, uh, conversation.

And that will just be an ecology check.

It won't be,

Speaker 2: yeah.

Speaker: You know, Steve Krabs
judgment as to are they doing

the right or wrong thing?

It will be an exploration of let's just
explore that if they're open to that.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Because some of them may come talk
to you because they are confused.

I have spoken to one, one, I've only ever
had one person that Gloria couldn't see.

Um, and she referred this person
to me and they were confused.

Um, and well then

Speaker: that's fine, isn't it?

You know, someone's

Speaker 2: going, I'm confused.

Let's explore

Speaker: that.

Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.

So let's explore the confusion.

So we, we, we explored what was going on
in their head, what they were thinking.

And then we went down,
well-formed outcomes.

Was it good for them?

And 'cause the thing is with the trans
community, if they're gonna be trans.

I mean, this particular
person, it was right for them,

and they are now trans male.

But at the session, the first time I
spoke to him, it wasn't right because

they were hurting their parents.

So I think there's a lot of conflict

Speaker: mm-hmm.

Speaker 2: With these people as well.

Um, and if you stick with the
process and do all the things we've

talked about, it's not, it's no
different to coaching anybody else.

Other people have conflict and
we just coach them through it.

It works.

Yeah.

Speaker: We coach them to get clarity,

Speaker 2: don't we?

Speaker: Yeah,

Speaker 2: yeah.

Speaker: Yeah.

Excuse me.

Yeah.

It's fast.

It's fascinating.

Fascinating.

A

Speaker 2: so I knew that was
gonna be a, a needy subject.

Speaker: Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, it was great.

Yeah.

I appreciate putting it together.

Yeah.

Speaker 2: So I've got
a question for you now.

Speaker: Do you?

Speaker 2: I do, yeah.

Speaker: Fabulous.

Speaker 2: Growing your
practice promotion.

Excuse

Speaker: me.

Speaker 2: Six degrees of
Kevin Bacon networking.

Speaker: It wasn't actually networking.

Speaker 2: Okay.

Speaker: No, it was,

Speaker 2: I'm just
reading what they said.

Speaker: Yes, it was, uh, referrals.

Speaker 2: Okay.

Speaker: But I talked about networking.

Yeah.

Your network, but Okay.

It wasn't networking.

Continue.

Speaker 2: Whilst I attend
regular networking events,

maybe that's what it's about.

Speaker: Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2: Most of my change work comes
from word of mouth, from previous clients.

Well done.

Speaker: Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2: Recently, which,

Speaker: which by the way is referrals.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Recently, one of my networking clients
said that it's hard to refer to me because

people rarely mention their mental health.

It's another subject we had earlier.

Another networking colleagues said that
it's hard because lots of people don't

know about an LPN hypnosis and are wary.

This tells me that there's something
wrong with my marketing message.

What's your advice on the best
pitch for personal change work?

Good question.

Speaker: Um, I'm not
sure what I could answer.

What is the best pitch?

Um.

There's an expectation of your
network being able to explain to

people what it is that you do.

Um, so I'm answering the second part
about lots of people don't know about

NLP and hypnosis, nor do they need to.

Speaker 2: Yeah,

Speaker: what they're really
interested in is, um, if you

have a solution to their problem.

So that's really what you wanna get
better at in terms of your marketing

message, uh, in terms of explaining
what it is that you do for people.

Give them and get them.

Um, they couldn't care less if, if
what you do is they rub their head,

pat their head and rub their tummy, you
might not be able to charge for that.

Um, so that, that's the first adjustment
I would make, uh, get clarity on your,

um, explanation as to the benefits
of what you do for your clients,

because that's all somebody else has
to be able to convey and pass on.

Now the trouble is, especially
in networking events, you're

expecting somebody to reproduce the
explanation you've just given to

the person at the networking event.

So I mentioned this, um,
when I was talking about, um.

The collaborative conversation,
the sales conversation.

Okay.

That at the very, one of the early stages
of having a collaborative conversation,

which is like taking an order, you
wanna make sure that the person you're

talking to is the person that makes
the decision to book in with you.

Okay?

Now, the reason you wanna do that
is because if it's not the person

who makes the decision, you're
gonna have a conversation with them.

They're gonna go away and they're gonna
delete, they're gonna distort, they're

gonna generalize and try to explain what
you've just explained to somebody else,

and they're not gonna get it, right?

So if they've gotta explain to someone
else, you want that person there.

So

either with the networking people,
they have to really understand what

it is you do or what's even better.

Give them an experience.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: Do a demo demo.

A lot of these networking events
enable people to get up and they're,

sometimes they're very desperate for
someone to get up and do something.

That's interesting.

If you've been to anything.

Yeah.

Um, give people an experience.

The best thing you do is, you know,
not talk about coaching coach.

Yeah.

So I'm using coaching for
NLP hypnosis the whole lot.

Give people an experience of what you do.

Then they'll go away and talk about,
wow, this is what I got and this is what

I did and this is what it did for me.

And quite often their enthusiasm
will be persuasive enough.

Speaker 2: Hmm.

Speaker: Yeah.

So stop talking about it.

Um, demonstrate it.

Yeah.

And you're absolutely
right about mental health.

Um.

You know, we were talking about
this before we came online.

Um, but there is stigma attached to
admitting, you know, someone's stressed,

they're depressed, they're anxious.

There still is, even though a lot of
people are talking about it more openly.

Um, so you've gotta get
across, you've gotta, you're

fighting against that stigma.

People, I, I call it the free stress
monkeys, where people don't wanna talk

about it, they don't want to hear about
it, and they don't even wanna see it.

Um, so yeah, stop talking about mental
health, but give someone an experience

of what wellbeing is, what you can do
for them in terms of helping them to

maybe be more calm or relaxed de-stress.

At the end of the day, give them something
that they can talk about and, uh, they can

talk about having had an experience of it.

That's where I would go with that.

Speaker 2: And I think a lot of people.

Connect.

When you talk about you have mental
health issues, people start thinking

about people that have nervous breakdowns.

People aren't talking about somebody
that is stressed or suffers from anxiety.

They think that you've got,
you have nervous breakdowns

or you have panic attacks.

They think of something huge and,
and what they're imagining in their

head, um, needs to change, I think.

Speaker: Mm-hmm.

And actually, I'm just looking at it
again, there's something else I wanna

talk about in terms of this one, um,
which is the most of my change work.

Comes from word of mouth,
from previous clients.

Speaker 2: Hmm.

Speaker: Put the focus there.

What is it that you're doing
in order to get most of the

work from previous clients?

And how many different ways are
you currently getting referrals?

Maybe you've got two ways of doing it.

Well, what happens if you put
three or four different ways in?

Could you double the amount that you're
getting, put the focus on what's already

working and see if you can improve what's
already working rather than putting

the attention to something that's not
working and trying to make that work.

That's where I'd go with that.

If you were, let say, for example,
if you, one of my clients and we are

looking at your marketing, uh, the first
place I'd go is, well, what's works?

Speaker 2: Hmm.

Speaker: Yeah, because quite
often people aren't really

maximizing what works for them.

There's always something else
they could do to improve it.

So if what you're looking
for is more clients.

Look at the area where you already
get most of your change work and make

sure that you've really, um, you're
squeezing the most out of the referrals

from your pre previous clients first.

Speaker 2: Definitely.

So, I'm gonna bounce back up now.

Um, on the list, talking relationships.

I recently worked with a Muslim
lady following an arranged marriage

and divorce that caused her
to be disowned by her parents.

Her male friend has proposed,
but she was in two minds because

she liked the company, but a
new husband would expect more.

How does she know that?

Hmm.

More what specifically she thought and
was worried she would let him down.

How do you support clients whose
cultural identity is holding them back,

especially when it comes to relationships.

Speaker: My goodness.

You guys have gone down
some rabbit holes on you.

What is it we used to say about,
you know, sometimes we won't

answer specific case studies.

Yeah.

'cause you need to be with
the person, but, okay.

Yeah.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Now you see, one of the things I
love about what we do, you know,

we've got a process, much like I
said, when we were talking about the,

you know, the, the gender issues.

We have a process.

We don't even really need content, do we?

If you think about it, we
could do it all content free as

we're working with a process.

And if you take the process, it
makes everything else we do so easy.

And it's also one of the
reasons why we say, I.

It's very difficult to
advise on specific issues.

'cause you need the
person in front of you.

You need to be calibrating,
you need to be listening for

metaprograms modal operators.

What exactly is it they're saying?

Um, is she saying that she's worried
that if she gets married, the husband

will expect things that she won't do?

Um, I don't know.

What is it?

I I, there was a lovely Sikh lady who had
a, an amazing arranged Sikh marriage and

unfortunately, and it was a love match.

They adored each other.

Her husband got killed in a car
crash and she fell in love with her

husband's best friend who wasn't Sikh.

He was white.

And she got disowned by her
family, but she did marry him.

And, and when the babies
came, the family forgave her.

I know that's not necessarily
the case all the time.

I think with all of these things, you have
to go with what your client gives you and

by listening to them, they'll tell you
exactly what's going on in their head.

And once you've heard what's really
happening, 'cause it's really

difficult for us to diagnose from
your filtering out of what was said.

So listen, pay attention to what's
happening and do the coaching, just

as we've said with all the gender
issues with, with any coaching you do.

Pay attention to the person.

What do they want?

How can you be of service?

Speaker: But keep the questions
coming guys, by the way, don't.

Okay.

Yeah.

Don't take that as us saying No, no, no.

Don't send us these question.

Speaker 2: No,

Speaker: no, no.

Because what, we'll, what we'll do is what
we, we've been doing all the way along.

I'll, I'll point you back to the
NLP process and you know, the

conditions of well-formed outcomes.

Yeah.

And go check the ecology.

Yeah.

Explore the ecology with them.

You know, there's so many
things you could explore.

Get them to explore timelines.

Now, obviously we can't
predict the future, but they

can get a sense of the future.

Help guide them to make the right
choices and decisions for them, not

the ones we think they should be doing.

The, the choices they should be making.

Hmm.

Speaker 2: And regardless as to
cultural mismatch or whatever, or

different cultures coming together.

If she's worried about what his
expectations are of her and her not

being able to fulfill them, I mean,
that could be all sorts of things.

It could be her lack of
self-esteem, self-confidence.

It could be stuff connected to
what happened with the arranged

marriage that didn't work.

There could be all sorts of things
in there, but until you talk to

her and get this information, you
won't know what's going on in there.

It may even be that actually she's
not meant to be with this person.

Speaker: This is also something else
just occurred to me, especially with

relationships, it is so important
to keep your map out of the way.

Speaker 2: Oh

Speaker: yeah.

Um, because if you ever impose your
map and you get it wrong, guess Oh

God, guess who's gonna be blamed?

Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Yeah.

Speaker: Uh, yeah,

Speaker 2: I, I mean I just think
it's fascinating that we've had two

questions, two really good questions,
guys, and Yes, do keep them coming.

One to do with like gender and
one to do with, um, related

Speaker: identity.

Yeah.

Which is still the same thing.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Which is, and it's still the same thing.

We're still looking at
identities, aren't we?

You know, genders and identity, different
cultures are different identities.

So those two questions could
actually have the same answer.

Speaker: Yeah.

And, and explore the logical levels.

Yeah.

Speaker 2: It's,

Speaker: it's kind of
obvious, isn't it, really?

You look at the identities that
you say identities hold them back,

but what's supporting the identity?

There'll be beliefs and
values and possibly conflicts.

And sometimes those conflicts could.

Just Right.

That's part of the ecology.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

And there'll be experiences
and strategies and all sorts

of stuff going on down there.

Speaker: Mm-hmm.

Interesting.

Interesting.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Are you ready?

This is for you.

I do like to give you your fair share.

Thank you.

You are welcome.

Having read, think and Grow Rich, I love
the fact that successful networks uphold

the laws of the universe and givers gain.

Certainly resonate.

Oh, give us gain certainly
resonates with me, however, but

you, I just forget about what.

Mm-hmm.

Speaker: Yeah.

Let's delete all that out.

Speaker 2: Just delete all that.

Now we, the nitty gritty,

Speaker: this is the reality.

Yeah.

Speaker 2: Um, about the

Speaker: reciprocity.

Speaker 2: Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

But Steve talked about this
month my current networking data

shows that I've given far more
referrals than I've received.

My belief is that I am gaining via
referrals from clients who know my work.

In two minds about whether formal paid
networking is for me in the longer term.

Just wondering if you've ever
joined a formal networking group

and how well it worked for you.

Speaker: Okay, so I'll pick that one up.

So the real question is just
wondering if you've ever joined

a formal networking group.

The answer is yes.

A couple.

Yeah.

And how well it worked for you.

Well, the wellness of that is based
upon, um, how much work I got from

it, which wasn't a great deal.

Um, so the first networking
group was nearly 20 years ago.

It's one of these breakfast
things we had to turn up every

month for a breakfast meeting.

And, and by the way, it
turned out for a month.

It doesn't sound like a lot,
but it seemed like a lot.

Yeah.

Once a month.

Back then, it seemed like
a real, real commitment.

Um, what was really interesting in
my experience back then, um, and

there could only, in this particular
networking group, there could only be

one person in a particular industry.

So you weren't competed against
other people in, in the group.

Um, everyone was really interested
and I think this is just the specific

network because I'm not saying this is
general because I know there are other

networks that, um, may, may well work.

This is just my experience, which
is the answer to the question.

Um.

I was being pitched and
sold to by everybody.

Yeah.

Which is why we are there.

Yeah.

To, yeah.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: But actually I, I thought
we were there to collaborate

and support each other.

Yeah.

Um, but the reciprocity certainly
didn't seem to be there, not

with that particular group.

Now I did have a better experience
with a networking group,

which was a local authority.

In fact, two of them actually,
um, oh, actually I just

remembered actually saying this.

I did a lot of networking before
I got into coaching, and that

was with, um, Merton Council.

Um, back in those days it was
run by a local group and they

actually had a really good network.

And I did get a lot of, uh,
this was it support work.

You know, I had of, one of my
companies was an IT company, um,

but we were quite a big fish.

Um, in that pond back in those days,
um, we employed about 12 people, so

quite a big employee in the area.

So I got a quite a bit of work from that.

Um, but there was a different vibe
about that, that was very, very

supportive and very collaborative, and
that was, that was kind of led by the

people that were running the network.

Um, the other more positive one
I had recently as a coach was

with, uh, Kingston, Kingston,
uh, chamber of Commerce.

Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: Uh, but, but that did
change actually because it became

less of a, a local, uh, community,
collaborative community and more of

like a London Borough run type thing.

So I think it all depends upon the
people that are running the network.

That's been my experience.

If they are really into supporting
collaboration, they kind of lead

from the top and everyone wants
to know about everybody else.

And you get the chance
to get up and present.

And, and I go back to the, to
the, the first question about,

um, referrals and promotion.

With networking, if you get the chance
to demonstrate what you do, grab it.

Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: Yeah.

Rather than just talking about it.

Yeah.

If you get the chance to get somebody
to stand up and do something, grab it.

Oh, actually, I just remembered
one networking experience,

which was absolutely phenomenal.

So, so it, this tells you that some
of the disasters and some, some

are great, but it was a, it was
a LinkedIn entrepreneurs group.

I was invited to be the guest
speaker and it was a private

members club up in, um, Mayfair.

And I turned up at this.

Beautiful Georgian building.

It had a massive door and you opened it
and it was a, it was a very weird club.

It was a big room that had a
spaceship in the middle as a bar.

Okay.

It was pretty cool.

Yeah.

Um, and I had 15 minutes to do
a give a talk and these were

all LinkedIn entrepreneurs.

So 15 minutes, what am I gonna do?

I need to do something that's a bit, wow.

Uh, I, I, I really can't recall
what I did and now, but 15 minutes,

you've gotta make an impact.

So I remember I had the mic, um, and
I did something to do with hypnosis.

Yeah.

That's it.

I did a fast induction on, so on.

So it's all business people.

You've gotta get their attention.

So I just did a very fast induction.

Did something about, yeah, imagine
in the future, finished the 15

minutes, talked a little bit about
the power of the mind, et cetera,

and there were 50 people in the room.

You couldn't get more than 50 in this
particular room, but it was about

150 people in the, in the event.

Yeah.

Most were just mingling and,
and drinking and passing cards.

And then the um, guy who set it
all up came up to me, took the

mic and said, well, we normally
do 15 minutes, but I'm fascinated.

Would you do more?

And I went, yeah, sure.

I'll keep going.

Does everyone want Steve to carry on?

Yeah.

So I carried on and like an hour and a
half later, I'm now doing a stage show.

It's turned into a stage show.

Um, but I was just taking
questions and answers.

Yeah.

And.

That, that was a good experience.

I've got a ton of work out of that.

Actually got some work on
Sky TV as a result of that.

So I think it's just, you've
gotta look for the right groups.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That really collaborate.

You know, I wouldn't, you know, take
one experience and generalize it to all.

Uh, that would be my answer to that.

So yeah, bit of a mixed bag.

I've not found it to be the most
effective return on my time.

Uh, that's been my experience, but only if
I'm not given the chance to demonstrate.

Yeah.

I grab every opportunity
to demonstrate what I do.

That turns into work.

Yeah.

Speaker 2: Perfect.

I mean, I've, I've, I've never
joined any of these breakfast clubs.

I've been invited many times
and I did go along twice to

two different clubs locally.

It just didn't feel right to
me, so I just didn't bother.

Speaker: And you're not a
morning person, are you?

Speaker 2: I'm not a morning person.

Every

Speaker: time you zoom in
the morning, it's like,

Speaker 2: yeah, no, go
and have your coffee.

I'm not morning person.

This is why when we train

Speaker: guys,

Speaker 2: you see this?

I do

Speaker: crab eat till I get my coffee.

Speaker 2: I said, get

Speaker: you, you one of these.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Yeah.

I, I've actually got a cup
that was bought for me.

And, and at at the top it says, shh.

And then there's a little
line that says not yet.

And then when you get to the bottom of
the cup, it says, now you may speak,

yeah, know Molly, but I did go to a
couple of these, didn't feel right for me.

Um, Gloria, the, the
covering psychotherapist,

she joined loads of these.

Um, and I know she did get quite a lot
of work, but the work came from, um.

Going to, uh, lu a lunch club.

So she'd go along to this lunch club and
they'd have different people come in and

do presentations for like 40 minutes to
a group of professionals having lunch.

Um, and she'd go to that lunch club
and she'd got loads of work from there.

Speaker: Was she doing the presenting?

Speaker 2: She was, yeah.

Yeah,

Speaker: yeah.

See, I think that's the
difference, isn't it?

Because when you're doing the
presenting, you are already

established as the authority.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: Yeah.

So there's, there's something there
about, you're already perceived to be

somebody that's worth paying attention to.

Speaker 2: And I think this was a,
this was like a, a business group.

Uh, I mean, Gloria's from Southampton, so
it's got to be in the Southampton area.

And they would have different
people come in periodically

and do like a lunchtime talk.

Speaker: Hmm.

Speaker 2: They'd do a 40 minute talk
while everybody was eating their lunch.

And she said she got a
lot of business from that.

Speaker: Yeah.

See that.

So there's also slightly different
dynamics to that, to some of the other

networking events I've been where people
have already paid to go to listen to

someone and do a bit of networking.

So, you know, you've got that benefit
of being the person that stands up and

you've got a captive audience already.

They've, they've paid to listen
to you over their chicken dinner.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Chicken in the basket.

Yeah.

Speaker 2: That said, why don't you
just remind me one of these breakfast

clubs belonged to the local, um, are
they the, called the Lions or something?

They, they do stuff for charity anyway,
they were having a dinner and they

invited me to go along and be their
speaker and I got loads of work from that.

Speaker: Mm.

Yeah,

Speaker 2: same thing.

I'm the authority, I'm
the one that's talking.

Speaker: Yeah.

Yeah.

And, and make sure that
you give them a Wow.

I remember Michael o'
Neil, um, it was on a.

Coaching or hypnosis,
I can't remember now.

Uh, but do you remember him saying,
okay, everybody go out to the assistant

team, they're gonna give you a wow party.

And I remember all the assistants
coming and going, what's a wow party?

I went, I guess we're just
gonna make 'em feel, wow.

You know, I wasn't listening.

Yeah.

A lesson to machine Pay attention.

Yeah.

Pay attention.

Um, and it was a case of they come
out and you do a bit bit of quick

work, change work with somebody.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: Where they go, wow.

Speaker 2: Mm.

Speaker: You gotta make sure that
you give them that wow experience.

So they go, wow, this is something that's
worth painting if you do not always

Speaker 2: makes them feeling good.

Speaker: Yeah.

If you do not get the attention, you don't
have the privilege to then, you know, make

them interested and build up the desire
for them to go, oh, I wanna know more.

Yeah.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Right next one.

Ooh, congratulations Tina.

Thank you very much.

It's great to read that your
painless childbirth book is

now being enjoyed in French.

Haha.

Did you

Speaker: write this one yourself?

Speaker 2: No.

Speaker: Okay.

Right.

Speaker 2: What's your advice
to clinical hypnotherapy diploma

graduates who would like to niche
in this area but are up against

Speaker: niche?

Speaker 2: Ni?

Is it niche

Speaker: because it rhymes with rich.

Speaker 2: Okay.

Niche in this area, but are up against
the hypnobirthing franchise worldwide.

So yes.

For those that don't know, there is a
franchise out there called Hypnobirthing.

Um, and I teach my way of doing painless
childbirth, which incorporates NLP Design,

human Engineering, and hypnotherapy.

I suppose so this Hypnobirthing franchise
has been out there a long time and I

was in the UK running my classes and my
book had been published and, and I got

contacted by this woman called Mickey
Mongan, this American woman who is the

founder of the Hypnobirthing franchise,
and she invited me to go meet with her

and she was running a course at St.

St Thomas's, at Tommy's,
I think in London.

Anyway, there were all sorts
of people going to this course,

and I went along and she let me
sit in on her course, which I

thought was very generous of her.

I got to see what she taught.

Um hmm.

That was very generous of her, and it
also led me to identify the differences

between what she teaches and what I teach.

So when people ring me up and say,
um, some of them would say, well,

I've seen that there's hypnobirthing.

Do you do hypnobirthing?

Or they might just ring up and
say, I understand you work with

people that are gonna have babies.

Do you do hypnobirthing?

Now, the first answer that I
have to give is, no, I'm not

part of that, that franchise.

What I would say is something along
the lines of, um, I teach women how to

have a painless childbirth experience.

It's not called hypno birthday
because Mickey Mongan has

tried to trademark the name.

Uh, she failed, but I still
don't say I do hypnobirthing.

So I teach women how to have
painless childbirth and the

classes and the way that it works.

Is we teach them how to
access what they already have.

Now, Miki is all tied up in scripts.

So if you are a hypnobirthing person,
you are given a load of scripts that

you read to your class for the first
week, and then there are four weeks,

and then the next week you read the
next lot of scripts and the next lot.

And the next lot.

So everything is scripted Now as
neers, we know better than that

and we know how to create what
our audience and our clients need.

So when I ran my job, birth classes,
everything we did was what they

happen to need at that point in time.

It wasn't scripted.

Now, there are scripts in my book, but I
even say in my book, this is to give you

an idea of the things that you can do.

So we teach, uh.

Our students, how to use what they have,
how to anchor good feelings, how to

collapse bad anchors, all those NYLPI
things that Mickey Mongan doesn't have.

Speaker: What's her name?

Speaker 2: Mickey Mongan.

M-O-N-G-A-N.

Speaker: This the sort of
stuff I gee geek out on

Mickey Mongo.

Speaker 2: I, I mean, I got, so I got to
go to this class and it was fascinating,

um, watching her basically just,

Speaker: it was Marie Mongo,

Speaker 2: is it Mary?

It was

Speaker: Marie.

Marie.

Speaker 2: Marie.

It was definitely Mickey
Mongan, obviously.

Oh, probably,

Speaker: yeah.

Bering.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's probably a nickname.

Yeah.

Speaker 2: Um, yeah, it was,
it was all very script driven.

There was no leeway.

Um,

yeah, it just fascinated me.

And somebody actually said, said,
well, uh, she said, and this, this

is the time when you deal with
all their fears and anxieties.

And somebody said, what if they
don't have fears and anxieties?

She said, everybody has
fears and anxieties.

And I'm thinking, Hmm.

But obviously she's, she's
coming from a different system.

She's, she's done, she's actually done,
um, some Ericksonian hypnosis stuff.

Um, yeah, it's just two different ways of.

Doing the same thing.

Speaker: Yeah, it's interesting.

I, I mean, I just, you can probably tell
that I, I am paying attention, but I'm

actually doing some Google, Google search.

I know

Speaker 2: you're Googling.

Speaker: Yeah.

I mean, I, I dive into this.

I, like, I would wanna know
everything about the Hypnobirth

and International franchise.

Mm.

To see what they're doing,
what works, so I can model it

as, um, put my own spin on it.

Um, there are 492,000 Google searches,
um, and I'm certainly for the uk

and I'd be surprised if all of them
select Hypnobirth in international.

Um, so there's, there's this huge market.

Speaker 2: There's an enormous market now.

She tried to trademark Hypnobirthing
and she failed, um, which I'm rather

thankful for because I'm going
to Italy the beginning of June.

Um, and in Italy they're telling
everybody that I'm teaching

hypnobirthing and I'm like, well, I'm
not actually teaching hypnobirthing.

And they're going, well, you are
teaching hypnosis and birthing.

Speaker: Yeah.

But the, the, the question that
they ask is, what's your advice to

clinical hypnotherapy diploma s who
would like to niche in this area Yeah.

But are up against the hypnobirth
in franchise worldwide.

So your niche Okay.

Can be a big number of people.

A large number of people.

Yes.

Yeah.

So one, if there's somebody out there
who seems to be dominating the market and

smashing it, it tells you that there's
a, there's a market which is good.

Yeah.

You want that?

Yeah.

Speaker 2: So there is an
enormous market for this.

Speaker: Yeah.

And you, you wanna differentiate
yourself from a face, this franchise.

That's another way to look at that
and, you know, really make sure

that you're given, uh, one way to
look at, it's to give themself a

offer, which is very personable.

You know, you be the person and
build rapport rather than go

and working with a franchise.

You know, I mean, this is an area
where I will have no experience

whatsoever in terms of coaching
people, um, around painless childbirth.

Um, I have coached people
around, um, conceiving, um, but

that was a long, long time ago.

Um, but it's about running the business.

Speaker 2: It is,

Speaker: yeah.

So do the research, find out as much
about them as you possibly can, but

make sure you put your spin on it so
that people have got rapport with you

rather than with just a, a franchisee.

Speaker 2: And I, and I always say,
and I don't, I mean I'm delivering

pain, uh, techniques and methodologies
which can enable you to have a

more comfortable birth experience.

I don't say that I'm teaching
hypnobirthing because there

is a hypnobirthing model out
there, and that's not what I do.

And I go, well, how is yours different?

And I say, well, mine is different because
I utilize neurolinguistic programming.

I've designed human engineering
and I know you dunno what that is.

Let me tell you.

Using those techniques means that I can
teach you so much easier how you can

access the state you need to be in when
you're giving birth, how you can get

rid of any negativity or any worries
you've got about the birth and how you

can build something that will not only
help you have a painless childbirth, but

you can use for the rest of your life.

That usually works.

Speaker: Mic drop.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Yeah.

So, oh look, here's one for both of us.

Um, having learned an LPN
hypnosis with a view to changing

careers, I'm still working.

My change work is more like a hobby.

What's your advice to someone who
is ready to become self-employed

but remaining employed for security?

Do you wanna go first?

Speaker: Well, I've got no advice really,
um, because that would be imposing my

map upon your decision making process.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: What we would explore
is what would have to happen in

order for you to feel secure.

Well, first of all, is this what you
really, really, really want in order for

it to become, uh, a full-time business?

Do you know how to run a full-time
business and run a profitable business?

'cause 80% of business owners don't.

That's why 80% go past.

Um,

and what has to happen
for you to feel secured?

Let's explore that.

That's where I would go with that.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: Um, I wouldn't be telling anyone
to go, you know, stop your full-time job.

Go.

They may not have the skills, they may
not have the expertise in order to create

a professional, predictable business
based upon five star ideal clients that

can navigate its way through the ups and
downs of, um, recessions and depressions.

Some people, people that security is
a full-time job, is what they need.

Although actually I do think
it's quite interesting.

I don't think there's anything
that's really that secure anymore.

Speaker 2: No, I don't think there is.

No, it didn't.

Yeah.

I mean, when I first started,
um, I worked for an investment

bank in the city of London.

Um, I was a training and development
director, so my salary was rather nice.

Thank you very much.

Speaker: Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2: Um, and I, I just hesitated for
a while and I thought, oh, look, I've just

gotta do this or it's never gonna happen.

I had everything mapped out.

I knew I was gonna do, I
had a plan, so I just left.

Um, and then for a while, I, I
took on short-term contracts.

So while I was building it, if
something came up and somebody

wanted me to go and do something
for a month or a couple of months to

cover for someone, I would dive in.

I'd treble the money I was charging them.

To go and do the project for them.

And then I thought,
well, hang on a minute.

If I can treble the money doing that, I
can treble the money doing my coaching

and my hypnosis and my hypnotherapy.

So then I just walked away
and never looked back.

Speaker: Hmm.

It's interesting 'cause the last
part of the question is what's

your advice to someone who's
ready to become self-employed, but

Speaker 2: yeah.

Speaker: Remaining employed for security.

So where, where's the h
hierarchy of values there?

Yeah.

Security.

The security.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Yeah, yeah,

Speaker: yeah.

Okay.

Um,

stay secure if that's all you wanna do.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: Nothing wrong.

There's nothing wrong with
treating it as a hobby.

Speaker 2: Some people are really
happy having a hobby, something

that eats up their spare time.

Speaker: And it could be very
profitable, lucrative hobby as well.

It can, can, you can have
the best of both worlds.

Yeah.

In fact, you know, it'd be interesting to
explore this, you know, remain employed

for your security and double your rates.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

See what happens.

Speaker: Double your rates
and see what happens.

And then when people will say yes, then
double them again and see what happens.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

I mean, I, I, I left and doubled
my rates and then troubled my rates

and I thought, well,
you know, I can do this.

What are you worth?

Speaker: Me?

Speaker 2: No, I'm talking
to this person here.

I know what you are worth.

Speaker: Indeed.

So hopefully that gave you
something to think about.

Are you really, really, really ready?

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: Not sure.

Let's explore that.

Speaker 2: Yes.

Speaker: What's stopping you?

Speaker 2: Ooh.

So I have to do this one
especially 'cause on Sunday we

are gonna be doing this on Sunday.

I love this one.

Phobias.

I'm currently working in
progress with desensitizing, a

client who had claustrophobia.

Okay.

So she doesn't have it anymore.

She can now enter a shop with an
open door and very nearly close

the door in a room with no windows.

Having stayed outta shops and rooms
with no windows for over a year.

Okay?

My client understands how to change
her state and we've collapsed lots of

anchors, but there's still a way to go.

It's a young person who isn't
following my instructions, Hmm, and is

requesting that I force her all advice.

Welcome.

So I'm gonna start this time.

Speaker: Go for it.

Yeah.

Speaker 2: I love this.

I mean, on Sunday we got, because

Speaker: you know young people don't you?

Speaker 2: The last day of our
licensed practitioner of NLP, and we

are gonna be teaching our students
Sunday morning how to help people

get rid of their fears and phobias.

The demo isn't gonna take that long.

He doesn't have that long.

We've got things to do.

I say him because it's, it's him.

Um,

Speaker: well, am I gonna,
am I doing the demo again?

Speaker 2: Look, you know, do you
wanna do the demo or the tournament?

Speaker: Oh, I'll do the demo.

No worries.

Speaker 2: The, the setup is important.

Yeah, the setup's important.

And then the demo.

Now desensitization is something
that's taught in clinical

hypnotherapy courses, and in fact,
it's taught in the ICCH diploma.

Because we have to, it has to be part of
the syllabus 'cause it is considered to be

a valuable part of clinical hippotherapy.

It isn't anything I use and
I never used to teach it.

You see, because I think the answer
lies in something that Steve and I have

said many, many, many times, um, from
what I've read out to everybody here.

So, for somebody to get change,
they have to want to change,

know how to change,

give themselves time to change.

And I'm gonna add a fourth
one to follow instructions.

I know when I've worked with young people,
especially teenagers and, and young.

Pre-teen people.

Um, sometimes they like
to be quite manipulative

and they don't always follow
instructions for a reason.

They get attention and there's other
stuff my gut is telling me going on

here without even having seen this
client or had anything to do with them.

Um, now I have an adult who isn't
following instructions at the moment.

Lovely guy from the east end of London,
traveled all the way to see me here

he is from Bow Mill War supporter
and he looks like a mill war support.

He's got broken nose cauliflowers
tattoos, looks like a thug.

Sorry if there's any mill war
supporters watching, but they do

have a reputation in this country.

Um, salt of the earth.

Lovely bloke.

He loves coming to talk to me.

He came to see me because he
said he had a phobia of flying.

Um, and then he flew out to Spain with
his wife for two weeks and then he came

back and I said, you've been on a plane.

That's great.

You haven't been on a plane for years.

Yeah, but I still think there's
more for us to do, doll.

So he came to see me and we, we
had another chat and I did another

session with him and off he went.

And now he's flown.

He went to, he went to Rome for his
birthday, sent me a message from Rome.

Bit better, but I think
I need to come back now.

I know

from our little chats, he's lonely even
though he is been married for a long time.

Uh, his wife's coming into
dementia and she forgets things.

And when he, he's gonna come back
'cause he says he wants to come

back and have another appointment.

We are gonna discuss then what
it is that he really wants.

Because he's not following instructions.

I know he doesn't have a phobia anymore.

'cause he can get on a plane.

And I know that from what you said,
this person can do certain things,

but she's not following instructions.

So what else is going
on over to you crabby?

Speaker: Yeah.

Uh, I agree with absolutely
everything Tina said.

Um, we come back to checking the ecology.

We come back to the NLP presupposition.

Every behavior serves a
purpose at some level.

And when it comes to the, uh, conditions
of well-formed outcomes is checking to

see what is the, what else this person
getting from staying with this behavior.

Yeah.

And exploring that.

But that's something I think
you have to sort out at the very

beginning as part of the pre-frame.

Yeah.

Um.

Because if you, if you're getting the
compliance, if they want to change,

there's nothing stopping them from
changing, which is the ecology check, the

how to change, you know how to do that.

Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: All they have to do is follow
your instructions and they will change

with all those conditions in place.

This is a quick piece of change work.

Speaker 2: It is.

Yeah.

Speaker: Yeah.

So I su suggest you may have missed
something at the very beginning.

Yeah.

In terms of part of your diagnostic.

Um, it's an area to look at, to
check that there isn't something

there isn't so benefit to.

Look, we talk about a young person
here, there's normally tons of other

reasons why they're getting attention.

They're getting significance.

They're,

you know, there, there's so many
other reasons that they could be

very resistant to actually doing
the change, even though they're

telling you that they, they want to.

Yeah.

So you've gotta be quite robust
and thorough at the very be.

Of your diagnostic.

Speaker 2: Yes, you do.

So we've now five past eight.

Speaker: Yeah.

Which by the way, you can't do
on a demo, so you have to be

really good when you do a demo.

Yeah, I'm I'm just saying the, the
demos always go well, but you have

to be, when it comes to choosing your
demo subject, you can't do the ecology

check, but you do have to make sure
the person follows your instructions.

You'll get the results if they follow you.

The instruct, the instructions.

Speaker 2: And that's the
benefit with choosing Wisely.

Speaker: Yeah.

Choosing the demo subjects wisely.

Yes.

I've already started to choose
the demo subject two weeks ago.

Yeah,

Speaker 2: I'm sure you did.

Speaker: Yeah.

Yes, I know who is my victim.

Speaker 2: I'm looking to fit him up.

People, but I fitted him up
before and he is managed to

get away with it, so we'll see.

Speaker: Yeah, because you know, it's
one of Richard's approaches, isn't it?

You know, my clients are gonna
change his, or one of us is gonna

die trying and it's not gonna be me.

Speaker 2: No.

Speaker: Yeah.

They're gonna be the
best demo subject ever.

Yeah.

So, um, we've still got a quick few
questions, but we're out of time now.

That's five, past six, past eight.

There's a few we're gonna have
to roll over to, um, June.

We've got some from April.

Okay, that's good.

Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.

Speaker: Um,

Speaker 2: yeah, because we
ran outta questions, um, in

run out of, um, time in April.

So it's brilliant.

Keep the questions coming people.

We love all of your questions.

Speaker: Yeah, thank you.

I haven't been checking to see as
online, but thank you for being here.

Thank you for showing up and if you're
watching the replay, um, oh yeah.

Plenty of comments from Tanya and Jane.

Thank you for being here, guys.

And um,

Speaker 2: yeah, yeah, there's a lot.

There's some good, there's
some good comments.

Speaker: Yeah.

Fabulous.

So, Tina, we've got some things to do.

We've got a practitioner
starting tomorrow.

Speaker 2: We do.

We

Speaker: got tomorrow.

We have business alchemy.

For those of you that haven't
yet made the decision to join us,

Speaker 2: yes.

Come and join us Three days
in Cha Wales at Glastonbury.

We're gonna be doing all
sorts of magical stuff.

Magical.

Speaker: Oh yeah, absolutely.

Baptisms.

Can we do baptisms, Tina?

Speaker 2: We're gotta do baptisms.

Yeah.

Because we have the cha

Speaker: worlds,

Speaker 2: the Chalice worlds
garden privately all to ourselves on

Saturday evening, and we've got some
interesting things we're gonna be doing.

Speaker: Can we swim in it?

Speaker 2: Yeah, you get
in it if you want to.

Speaker: Really?

Okay.

Speaker 2: Oh yeah.

Speaker: We're not allowed
to tell anyone that.

Yeah,

Speaker 2: it's not.

It's

Speaker: not.

Because don't they sell, don't
they sell the holy water?

Speaker 2: No, no, no.

They don't sell it.

You, you, well, you pay to get
into the gardens normally, and then

you go to the top of the gardens
where the water's coming out.

The.

And it's all been tested and
fit for you consumption, guys.

And then you take your little cup
and you can fill it with water.

Speaker: Oh, okay.

So we can swim in the bit
downstream from where they're

Speaker 2: drinking.

Yeah.

Downstream.

Fabulous.

Okay.

Speaker: That'll be good.

Yes.

Speaker 2: You dream it upstream,
you're swimming it downstream.

Speaker: Fabulous.

Okay, I'm gonna do that.

So yeah, come and join us
guys is gonna be amazing.

Magic meditation and manifestation.

We've got some pretty cool
things planned for you.

We do.

Um, but if you're not there,
you're gonna miss out.

Yeah.

Remember that fear of missing
out and, and double it.

And double it some more.

Okay?

Speaker 2: Okay guys, live long, prosper.

Have fun.

And we'll see you in June.

Speaker: Mm.

What she said.

Yeah.

Speaker 2: What she said.

Yeah.

Bye.

Speaker: Bye-Bye.